Don's Acres

From 11,981 H.E. to 11,987 H.E., Don lived alone in an apartment on the second floor of this lovely grey barn. With characteristic wit, he named the apartment "Don's Acres." Thomas came to live at Don's Acres in 11,987 H.E., and the two stayed there until 11,990 H.E.

Their decision to leave Glen Burnie was hastened by the neighbors. First, there were the Klingons downstairs: sixteen adults and 95 children, all committed to making as much noise as possible. Since they slept in shifts, they were able to keep up this endeavor 24 hours a day (25 on Sundays). Second, there were the Little Friends...six-legged ones, who arrived with the Klingons and decided to colonize Don's Acres...despite heaping mounds of poison around the perimeter. Third, there were the quaint and curious customs of believers throughout the neighborhood. One night during a spate of power failures, while a Gas & Electric Company crew was hard at work on the poles, these True Believers gathered in the parking lot and began chanting "We want light! We want light!"

As soon as it was possible, Don and Thomas left Don's Acres for Shipley Road. The apartment management company tried to do Don out of his security deposit and charge him an extra month's rent, claiming that he had violated the terms of his lease. Fortunately, when the case came to court, the judge read the applicable passage of the lease out loud to the illiterate Neanderthals, then laughed in their faces and dismissed the case. Only half a year later, Don got his security deposit back.

(Don later learned that he was tone of only half a dozen people in the history of Glen Burnie to have ever received a security deposit back from this company.)

Despite its drawbacks, Don's Acres was a fairly comfortable place for a bachelor and two newlyweds to live.

ABOVE: Part of the living room at Don's Arces.

ABOVE: Another view of the living room.

ABOVE: A third view of the living room.

ABOVE: Don's office at Don's Acres, in a rare state of tidiness.

BELOW: Thomas in the Captain's Chair at Don's Acres.

BELOW: Don in the kitchen at Don's Acres.


A party at Don's Acres, sometime in the mid-1980s.

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